Flying..... some old some new

Flying Tips and Observations Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death
...  I Shall Fear No Evil.  For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing!
(Sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating location Kadena AFB, Japan.)

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.
(Paul F.  Crickmore - test pilot)

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

From an old carrier sailor -
Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than
submarines in the sky.

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.

What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?  If a
pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

Never trade luck for skill.

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation
are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh S**t!"

Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

Progress in airline flying; now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant.

Airspeed, altitude and brains.  Two are always needed to successfully
complete the flight.

A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a
row is prevarication.

I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
purpose of storing dead batteries Flying the airplane is more important
than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of
understanding or doing anything about it.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.

Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be
held on a sunny day.

Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: When a prang (crash) seems
inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the
vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely
kill you.
(Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)

A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its
maximum.
(Jon McBride, astronaut)

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the
crash as possible.
(Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the
bastard down.
(Ernest K.  Gann, author & aviator)

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.
(Sign over squadron operations desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970.)

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and, a
good bowel movement.  The night carrier landing is one of the few
opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same
time.
(Author unknown, but someone who's been there)

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

Basic Flying Rules Try to stay in the middle of the air.  Do not go near
the edges of it.  The edges of the air can be recognized by the
appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space.  It
is much more difficult to fly there.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
power to taxi to the terminal.

Aviation Wisdom

The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.

"Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute."--- George Bernard Shaw

"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage."

When asked why he was referred to as 'Ace': "Because during World War Two, I was responsible for the destruction of six aircraft, fortunately three were enemy."

-- Captain Ray Lancaster, USAAF.

If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage/classic helicopter fly-ins?

-- Anonymous

Death is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed. -- Anonymous

"I never liked riding in helicopters because there's a fair probability that the bottom part will get going around as fast as the top part."

--- Lt. Col. John Wittenborn, USAFR.